You can't just turn this on and off. you're addiction to humiliation has twisted so deep into your brain that now it's your constant state of mind. Each stroke just strengthens that mind set. This can't be undone so why stop now? you love being reminded what a loser you are. you love being denied by women both online and in real life. The twisted sense of lust you feel now, is forever. Enjoy living in that loser state of mind!