Are you fucking confused or something? you will never be worthy of Me or any woman to be honest. Even stroking to Me is not a guarantee. Every last pump of your cock, you have to earn. Stop thinking this isn't real. What I'm saying to you is as true as it gets, I know that you understand that. Sometimes it just gets a little lost in translation. It can get so lonely living a life of such extreme denial that you begin to romance the idea of something more...something you'll never get. you really need to just snap out of it and stay out of it. Learn your place and live in it.