We both know what you are this year, every year for Christmas. You're nothing but a weak little loser. Stroking yourself stupid all year long to hot women like me while I laugh and humiliate you. Why should this be any different? You know you're going to buy this and goon to it over and over again while you sit at home all alone, knowing nobody loves a beta loser. Santa could never bring you what you want, and this is the closest you'll ever get. Pump yourself while you cry about how pathetic and dumb you will always be!