My Tinder profile clearly says... "Seeking tall men with big cocks for a night of pleasure." Yet here you are, showing up at my doorstep with just five and a half feet of disappointment. Did you really think you could pull a fast one on me? Did you think I'd let it slide? Fuck no! Look at me. Tall, elegant, and superior as fuck. Short losers like you disgust me! Shame on you for wasting my time!