You've always wondered if you really are a loser, given the fact that you're always single, never getting laid, and addicted to jerking. Don't forget the fact that you're family hates you and you have no friends too. Does this sound like a loser to you? Does this sound like... YOU? If so, welcome to my office. I am going to carefully analyze the information you provide and diagnose you accordingly. We are going to determine once and for all if you really are a loser. Sit down and make yourself comfortable. This may be a while.