Hey, hunny! I've got some bad news. You are not the one who got me pregnant. The man nextdoor is the one who did and honestly I'm not very sorry. You and I have been trying for years to no avail, while he knocked me up with his perfect BBC on the first try. This makes you a total failure of a man. What good are you if your lame sperm can't hit the target? I think I'm done with you. You're useless!