I saw what's on your hard drive. It's FULL of pictures of women's armpits and it's very obvious you jerk to them. This is a secret you've kept your entire life... until now. I will be sending those pictures to everyone you know. Your co-workers, your family... they will all learn that you are an armpit lover and you will finally be free from this deep, dark little secret. I know this is terrifying. You will resist at first, but the longer you stare at my powerful pits, the more comfortable you'll become. This is going to happen whether you like it or not.