A new year is upon us, which means it's time to make a pledge... a pledge to be PUSSY FREE. You've been doing it every year since 2018 and this year is no different. Repeat after me: pussy is not for me. It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not. You understand that you are unworthy of pussy and that means no dating. Just hand humping! Your hand kind of feels like pussy... lol just kidding. It feels NOTHING like pussy, but that's the best you're going to get. Happy New Year's, LOSER.

A new year is upon us, which means it's time to make a pledge... a pledge to be PUSSY FREE. You've been doing it every year since 2018 and this year is no different. Repeat after me: pussy is not for me. It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not. You understand that you are unworthy of pussy and that means no dating. Just hand humping! Your hand kind of feels like pussy... lol just kidding. It feels NOTHING like pussy, but that's the best you're going to get. Happy New Year's, LOSER.