I called you into my office today to tell you that your job has been reclassified. You're no longer the worst employee at the company. You're MY toilet slave. I chose you for this because it has become very obvious that you are nothing but a beta male loser. All the real men in the office produce numbers and make goals, but not you. Therefore, you get to become my human toilet! I've always known you've had a thing for my ass and now you get to see it AND taste it, up close and personal. Don't worry, toilet slave. You'll get used to it.