No one embodies loser quite like you. There is nothing remarkable or interesting about you, which is why you're used by everyone around you. It's also why you're perpetually single. Women HATE losers. Lucky for you, however, your palm is your girlfriend and the two of you get to spend every day together! How nice. News flash, loser: if you don't remember the last time you had sex, you may as well be a born-again virgin. Just another things to add to your loser resume!