It's Valentine's Day and you're all alone... again. Your luck is about to turn around though, loser. Instead of mindlessly stroking to porn like you do every V Day, you're going to actually have a date this year! It sure as hell isn't going to be me or any other woman out there, FYI. You're going to worshipping my Converse sneakers on Valentine's Day. This will involve kissing them, kneeling before them, and of course stroking to them. My Converses are your Valentine! Lucky you!