Over the years you've watched everyone you know grow up and get married and start families while you're still jerking it alone at home. Not what you pictured adult life to be like? Why? You've never been good with ladies and you're a disgusting loser who lives in the basement. Even if you bought a wife from another country, she'd only use you for citizenship. Let's face it, the longest relationship you'll ever have is with your hand, Rosie Palmer!