Welcome to my first annual Summertime Weenie Roast! While enjoying the great outdoors, I was reminded of how pathetic your "dick" is when I went to eat a grilled hotdog. I started laughing because I just imagined you constantly being threatened by everyday dick-shaped foods. Grab some Kleenex for your eyes and your nub because I'm about to make them both cry with some hard, honest truth. Oh and grab some ointment because you're about to get BURNED!