You're a beta specimen, an inferior male. You're not good at anything and there is nothing extraordinary about you at all. Yet, some poor woman has to put up with you and try to find a reason for keeping you at all. The only thing you might possibly be valuable for is entertainment through pure humiliation.

I help these unfortunate women make the most of their days while looking at a useless loser slob such as yourself day in and day out.

My methods are true, and proven worldwide to be highly effective. I will teach that woman who is unfortunate enough to be stuck with you...

You're a beta specimen, an inferior male. You're not good at anything and there is nothing extraordinary about you at all. Yet, some poor woman has to put up with you and try to find a reason for keeping you at all. The only thing you might possibly be valuable for is entertainment through pure humiliation.

I help these unfortunate women make the most of their days while looking at a useless loser slob such as yourself day in and day out.

My methods are true, and proven worldwide to be highly effective. I will teach that woman who is unfortunate enough to be stuck with you for a life, a simple trick that will instantly turn you from a bumbling homosapian fool to a frolicking, bubbly kitty at the snap of a finger.

A kitty to lick her soles, to rub against her shins and do anything for her attention and admiration. A kitty who hasn't a thought in his simple feline head; would never disagree or expect to be regarded in any way. He becomes a kitty, desiring only to bask in the afternoon sunbeams and chase the birdie the beautiful woman controls with her powerful magic.

I am saving marriages by turning husbands, boyfriends and suns into housepets one by one.