There are tiny men all over my house. At first I was annoyed by them but then I found a way to put them to use, and started using them in my baking.

The extra protein was a nice supplement and I like the crunching of their little bones when in a nice fluffy dessert. Tiny man cake is my favorite.

I eat a lot of tiny man cake. I know that eating cake can put a little around the middle, but whatever. More cushion for the pushin'! Plus, I can always just go to the gym or take a break from eating cake for a while. I show off my bakery confection. The little men bake nicely, the...

There are tiny men all over my house. At first I was annoyed by them but then I found a way to put them to use, and started using them in my baking.

The extra protein was a nice supplement and I like the crunching of their little bones when in a nice fluffy dessert. Tiny man cake is my favorite.

I eat a lot of tiny man cake. I know that eating cake can put a little around the middle, but whatever. More cushion for the pushin'! Plus, I can always just go to the gym or take a break from eating cake for a while. I show off my bakery confection. The little men bake nicely, they don't explode or liquify, they are quite resilient. You can see them standing straight up, they really are hard to get rid of! But I bake them, chew them up with my powerful teeth, swallow them and digest them with my powerful acids and digestive tract then turn them into waste, they exit my body and woosh! Down the toilet they go. But they always return in droves. Ugh, so annoying.

But today, my little man cake is having a different effect on me. I have considered before, the side effects of swallowing and digesting little men... what if by some weird miracle or mayhem, the little men learned to use the chemical compounds in my digestive system and grow to full man size?

OMG is this happening? My stomach is so bloated! it grows and grows and I am terrified the little men might burst forward from my abdomen. Oh God it hurts. Look how huge my stomach is!

But, I have a drink that is a great digestive aid, loaded with special herbs, berries and antioxidants. I burp loudly and can instantly feel the little man dissolve in my stomach acids and move into my upper then lower intestine. Stupid little bitches. Soon they'll be exiting my butt and plopping into the toilet where I will flush them away forever.