Being one of Satan's advocates is a very elite position. You traded your soul for this job, but, as your contract clearly states, you are to have a quarterly review once every 3 years. I am Satan's quality consultant and will be assessing your value and worth to the dark lord. It is your job to collect souls that are worthwhile to the dark lord and assign them to the appropriate place. During this meeting, I will be reviewing your numbers, the productivity of your souls, and the quality of the souls you have recruited. Also, as stated in your contract with the Dark Lord, 'If at any time the...

Being one of Satan's advocates is a very elite position. You traded your soul for this job, but, as your contract clearly states, you are to have a quarterly review once every 3 years. I am Satan's quality consultant and will be assessing your value and worth to the dark lord. It is your job to collect souls that are worthwhile to the dark lord and assign them to the appropriate place. During this meeting, I will be reviewing your numbers, the productivity of your souls, and the quality of the souls you have recruited. Also, as stated in your contract with the Dark Lord, 'If at any time the quality consultant decides that you are not contributing to the productivity of collection of souls, or that your performance is not exemplary, you will be thrown into the pit of fire, and your remains raked across the field of brimstone.' Unfortunately, I have reviewed your work, and find that you are a weight around the ankle of hell, and are to be exterminated immediately. You will be offered no compensation for your time, as you have already consigned your soul to our evil mission, and there are no returns or exchanges on souls- ever. I hearby order that you be drained and skinned on this day, burned and by demons of my choosing, and for your poor performance, this process will be repeated until the end of eternity, without end, ever. Hail Satan