I’m so tired of your constant demands for me to be a more dominant feedee when I just want to be pampered! I don’t want to work that hard, I just want to save my energy for eating and store up those calories! But you’ve finally done it, you’ve pushed me over the edge, and now you’re in for a severe case of be careful what you wish for because I’m pissed and you’re going to pay for it! Ugh, and I HATE you bringing your own food and drink! You’re supposed to be feeding ME, no one said anything about having to watch you sink a drink too! That’s it, your can is confiscated, and when I say confi...

I’m so tired of your constant demands for me to be a more dominant feedee when I just want to be pampered! I don’t want to work that hard, I just want to save my energy for eating and store up those calories! But you’ve finally done it, you’ve pushed me over the edge, and now you’re in for a severe case of be careful what you wish for because I’m pissed and you’re going to pay for it! Ugh, and I HATE you bringing your own food and drink! You’re supposed to be feeding ME, no one said anything about having to watch you sink a drink too! That’s it, your can is confiscated, and when I say confiscated I don’t mean you’re getting it back at the end of the day, I mean I’m putting it somewhere you’ll never see it again! Watch me sink your drink into my stuffed and bloated tummy, then do nothing but complain about the suffering it brings to my inflated gut! I belch and I hiccup and I slosh and I burp, over and over, clutching my middle and admonishing you for the behaviour that led me to get so dominant in the first place! Next time make sure you either leave your own treats at home - you’re supposed to be dedicating all your food and drink to my greedy belly, after all! - or bring a stronger beverage, because you drive me so crazy I’m going to need it...