You want to take me out to a fancy restaurant. Of course I dress impeccably. My makeup looks great and my hair is flawless. However, there's one thing you don't know about me.

I failed charm school.

It wasn't the aesthetic portion of charm school I couldn't muster through, it was the etiquette part. While my head mistress was teaching me to sip tea like a lady with my pinky out, I was burping like a man.

There is nothing I love more than when men look at me, a total glamazon. I make eye contact then let out a gut ripping BURP. Still want my number now?

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