Drink your water bitch! I'm trying to drink my water so that I won't get dumb. Not drinking water makes you dumb!
But I only like bubbly water and bubbly water makes me burp.
It also makes my stomach bloat.

I chug mineral water, burping in between my words. Burping like a man!
Drinking my water is making me dumb and gross.
Suddenly the bubbles come back up and I spit carbonated water from my bloated belly. Oh my!
Drinking my water isn't going to help me be attractive when I'm dumb, bloated and full of burps!