My friend calls me up and is going to an outdoor concert. She reluctantly invites me but is concerned that I'll have to wear hideous maternity clothes, and gives me an easy out saying that it's going to be a hot night.

I'm very conceited and refuse to wear hideous maternity clothes so I assure her that I have cute denim that still fit. I pull out my favorite jeans and high waisted shorts and struggle to get into them.

I am able to get both up over my ass, but they will not zip or button and my giant belly flows over them like a planet. I'm also rocking a wicked camel toe. ... Show more