Hon. This is our third Valentine's Day together! Is this gift card all you really all got me? You know I am a Tiffany's kind of girl...and not silver but gold! Ya know what! I have something great to give you in return for this bullshit that you gave me! I am going to shrink you down and teach you how to be a better mate. You are going to live in my armpit and serve me, tiny little man.

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