So, I don't know if you're aware but I'm the founder of The Dumping Agency, and I'm here to dump you on your ex partners behalf!
I know it seems cruel, but it's actually really kind of her to do this through me, as I'm actually a counsellor
Thats right, I'm actually here to tell you that it's over but I'm also here to tell you that I'm here to help you get over it! Yay!
So, her reasons for dumping you are obvious!
She said you're a fat lazy fuck that secret eats when she's in bed!
She also said you smell really bad and when you sweat (gags) it smells of hamburgers! Ewww!...

So, I don't know if you're aware but I'm the founder of The Dumping Agency, and I'm here to dump you on your ex partners behalf!
I know it seems cruel, but it's actually really kind of her to do this through me, as I'm actually a counsellor
Thats right, I'm actually here to tell you that it's over but I'm also here to tell you that I'm here to help you get over it! Yay!
So, her reasons for dumping you are obvious!
She said you're a fat lazy fuck that secret eats when she's in bed!
She also said you smell really bad and when you sweat (gags) it smells of hamburgers! Ewww!
She did say that if you were to actively exercise and lose weight, she might consider giving you another chance but if you want my honest, professional opinion, there's no point! You are just going to fail!
There's no way you'll ever stop eating, but don't worry, I'm here to encourage you to keep on eating whilst your self-esteem is in the gutter!
From here on in, I am going to be with you every step of the way!