I know you sometimes hate yourself because you are so weak that you can't resist cigarettes. I know you get anxious and panic when you think you're going to be without cigarettes for a few hours. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just means you're a heavy smoker like me. I often have black thoughts about a heart attack and lungs failure, which is normal considering how long and intensively I smoke. If I could, I'd prefer a heart attack, but with my existing lung problems I'm afraid I'll be out of luck.

I know you sometimes hate yourself because you are so weak that you can't resist cigarettes. I know you get anxious and panic when you think you're going to be without cigarettes for a few hours. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just means you're a heavy smoker like me. I often have black thoughts about a heart attack and lungs failure, which is normal considering how long and intensively I smoke. If I could, I'd prefer a heart attack, but with my existing lung problems I'm afraid I'll be out of luck.