I'm in your room and find your iPad lying on the cabinet so open it.

I find a message from you to your friend Jamie whichexplains why you've been being so helpful and doing my laundry - you've been sniffing my worn knickers and wrapping them around your cock when you wank!!

Dirty bastard!

Right, two can play at that game. I'll have a good wank myself and stuff these knickers so when he collects them from the laundry he'll lose it...

Goodness, they've ended up very wet.

What a naughty step-Mummy I am!