It was a hot summer’s day in Vancouver and there I was reading the Law of Attraction. The book said if you believe in something, it will come true. And I was just thinking how these stinky pits needed to be worshipped. My strong pheromones must have attracted this slave who comes crawling to Me. He is mesmerised by My lady odours and after begging for it, he dives in with his tongue. I put him in a headlock so he can inhale My scent deeply. The book talks about gratitude, so I tell him he out to tell Me how grateful he is that I allow him to worship My armpits.

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