Fragile men like you always get lost, despite having promised to be a servant of Satan till the rest of their lives. Me and Satan can see that you lost your soul, that you are stumbling to follow the dark path of Satanism and sometimes Satan can be good to you but when something like this happens He turns into a bitch. I don't blame Him. You disappointed Him so much that you're actually very lucky that He's giving you the chance to redeem yourself. Coming back to Satanism after a BIG disappointment like this has its price.