You've come so far with your findom addiction but you never understood what started it... or what it keeps it in your life. The answer was always in front of you, and it was hard not to see it.. or maybe you didn't want to admit it to yourself, am I right? You are addicted to my boobs, to my perfect findom boobies: the source of your obsession.
You can't stop paying for them, because as a work of art, they need to be worshipped and adored forever. This is what findom does to you. Once you start, you never finish. It's like praying for a god.