If your dumb ass missed My birthday, then you need to buy this. No excuses, I don't care what happened. You got lazy, and forgot. You chickened out and ran away. This is the scolding you need, the ripoff you deserve. Nothing is more important than making me happy on the holiest day of the year, and if you failed, you're a fucking disappointment. Buy this, or don't ever talk to me again.

If your dumb ass missed My birthday, then you need to buy this. No excuses, I don't care what happened. You got lazy, and forgot. You chickened out and ran away. This is the scolding you need, the ripoff you deserve. Nothing is more important than making me happy on the holiest day of the year, and if you failed, you're a fucking disappointment. Buy this, or don't ever talk to me again.