As February the 14th approaches, the age-old dilemma raises an inevitable question; what do you buy your wife for Valentine's Day when you have been cheating on her? What I offer is not an insight into the present you should purchase for your wife, but rather what type of gift you should present to your wife. And this will all depend on the 'type' of woman you are married to and how she deals with your infidelity, whether directly or indirectly! Rest assured, I will determine your marital situation through sociological elimination, and you will be the beneficiary of such knowledge.