Secret Internet Girlfriend misses you while you're away on business. She wants you to jerk off and unload your balls so you aren't walking around tempted when she can't take care of your personally. When you've honoured her request, go on line and tweet saying "I love #BigBoobsAndTattoos" Everyone will assume it's an obvious and generic statement but she'll know and you'll know that it really means you just drained your balls for her and her only!