In my eyes, you have officially failed at being a man. In fact, you have never possessed any of the qualities that I feel would be valuable in a man. I allowed you to give it your best effort, but I'm done watching this pathetic charade. But never fear, I have a great idea for you. You see, your 'talents' lend themselves more to the services of an obedient pet. You know much I've always wanted a little puppy of my own. I thought you would be the perfect candidate. You can spend your days laying around, keeping me company, and occasionally entertaining me with some cute tricks. No more compl... Show more