In the first version (Some Girls You Just Wanna Pay, one of my more popular clips) I mention that involuntary pull you have. You don't want to be like this, but you do. Your submissive side is stronger than the person you show the rest of the world. Frustratingly, I know.

The easier it gets for me, the more you hate wanting it. The more you hate wanting it, the easier it gets for me. Just watch.