Today is your day! You volunteered to be my human ashtray but now as time creeps closer, you're looking rather nervous.
Don't worry, I know it's your first time and I'm going to walk you through it, giving you instructions on what to do - fit for a first timer!
Your duties include taking my cigarette ash, inhaling my second hand smoke and of course, disposal of the filter.
Don't worry, you'll do just fine.