It's not enough for you to know how much of a loser you are... You desperately need to be told to jerk off to the fact, and you need to have your wallet thoroughly rinsed by the hot girl who'd never even glance at you in any other context. You know your place. You know what you deserve. You know how it feels to completely abandon yourself, to stroke to your own humiliation and your own financial demise... You can't get enough of it: you helplessly need it to survive.