Admit it - your only plans for the summer are to stroke yourself raw while sending exorbitant sums of money to hot brats online. No beach trips, no long drives to campgrounds or luxurious retreats, just beating your meat and emptying your wallet. But this season I want to give you something more to strive toward. Don’t worry, you’ll still be routinely depleting your bank account for someone far superior - Me. I have an exciting - and expensive - vacation planned for Myself, and you are going to fund 100% of it. In return, I’m going to detail every delicious self-indulgence I intend to take ...

Admit it - your only plans for the summer are to stroke yourself raw while sending exorbitant sums of money to hot brats online. No beach trips, no long drives to campgrounds or luxurious retreats, just beating your meat and emptying your wallet. But this season I want to give you something more to strive toward. Don’t worry, you’ll still be routinely depleting your bank account for someone far superior - Me. I have an exciting - and expensive - vacation planned for Myself, and you are going to fund 100% of it. In return, I’m going to detail every delicious self-indulgence I intend to take with your money. It’s a win-win!