You SHOULD feel shame for what you've done. What a fucking mess you made. How much rehab and lectures do you need? Perhaps it's just not your language. You are a pervert after all... perhaps some simple jerk off mantras will do you well. Something to keep your money in the bank yet your hands busy. This kink you have needs to be ironed out. Will this help? I suppose, if it doesn't, all that pretty money of yours can be put in My hands.