I'm like REALLY mean in this one, buckle up and grab the tissue box. You'll need it for your tears this time.

I bet you're still working for $15/hr. And you've probably been driving the same car for the past 10 years. You know this, and so do I, so why does it

feel so much better when I tell you about it?

Oh, that's right, because you're a.... LOSER.