Valentine’s Day is no fun with her, so buy this and jerk to me instead. You probably weren’t getting laid tonight anyways, so what’s the harm in cumming to another woman?

Well... depends on whether you get caught. You can try to be as quiet as possible, but once I make you play this out loud with the volume up, good luck making it through to the end! If she finds out what you’re up to, you lose! If you get scared and turn this off or turn the volume down at any point, you lose! And if you lose, you’re sending me DOUBLE what you paid on her today.

Let’s face it, this wouldn...

Valentine’s Day is no fun with her, so buy this and jerk to me instead. You probably weren’t getting laid tonight anyways, so what’s the harm in cumming to another woman?

Well... depends on whether you get caught. You can try to be as quiet as possible, but once I make you play this out loud with the volume up, good luck making it through to the end! If she finds out what you’re up to, you lose! If you get scared and turn this off or turn the volume down at any point, you lose! And if you lose, you’re sending me DOUBLE what you paid on her today.

Let’s face it, this wouldn’t be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. Your cock aches for me every other day of the year, so Valentine’s Day should be no different. Maybe exposing yourself as a horny, porn-addicted gooner is exactly the gift everyone needs this year...