I've been waiting for you to admit it to me for years, but as your bestie, I say enough is enough. Time to just own the fact that you are gay! Stop living in denial. You've never had a girlfriend, and you practically GAG when I say, "vagina". Come on, just admit it. Why don't we get some cheeky matching tattoos or piercings to show off your flaming homosexuality? They'll be subtle, I swear. I can tell you're still hesitant to admit it, but maybe some Grindr swiping will change your mind about coming out of the closet.