I have heard your plight, your struggles with your strange and inappropriate urges and the lord has spoken to me and given me the answers to your problem. See, you were led here by your unusual urges because you are a soldier of god and you were sent here to cleanse the community of it’s homosexual plague. As an agent of the holy will, your duty is to suck every cock you encounter dry, ridding it of it’s gay curse and destroying the darkness in our community. Now get on your knees so that I can give you the blessed power that the lord had intended for you through his mighty rod.

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