What are you doing up? You know it’s past your bedtime. Why aren’t you napping? Uh-oh. Someone’s got a big boner again! I know it’s hard to rest with that. Well, you know you’re not supposed to touch it without me supervising.

All right, just this once, but you have to promise to go to bed right after. Go on, pull down your pajama pants and tug your little man for me. Yes, you can look at step-mommy’s big boobies while you tug it. Tug, tug, tug, be a good boy!

Now give step-mommy a kiss and go right to bed!