For the emotional masochists in the group: it’s time to get friendzoned. This time, by me. You come over to my place, shaking and nervous. I wonder what’s wrong with you. You ask if I wanna go out sometime. Well, of course. We go out all the time! Ohhh...you meant on a date? Um, well no. We’re friends but I’m not interested in you like that. We should never you know...date. Why not? I just don’t go for guys like you. I like REAL men. I don’t want to sound mean, but it’s true.

I know you’re a submissive little bitch, and we just wouldn’t work out.