I’m surprised you have the audacity to show up here and ask me for a second date. Clearly, we had wildly different experiences during the first one. Not only did you ramble the entire time at dinner about yourself, but when you got me into bed, all you did was flop on top of me like a fish! You came in two minutes and proceeded to rub my inner thigh for another 30! You are terrible in bed and I want you to know it. Maybe I’ll go on a date with your much better-looking friend, he looks like he knows what he’s doing.