You turn up for work... late again!

To be honest I am fed up with your lazy ways and we seem to have exhausted every other avenue to act as a deterrent - now I would sack you but I know just how much this job means to you.

So because I have had to deal with the filth you have neglected to clear away I punish you in a new way - you can clean the filth from my shoes and not with cleaning products but your tongue!

You had better hurry up and do a good job before the other staff arrive and see you.