I bet you wish, just one time, you could kiss my perfect ass. Pucker up, get close, and lay a worshipful, adoring kiss on My backside. Well, go ahead! Put your screen right in your little loser face and get ready for the most romantic kiss of your sad, sexless life. Unless, of course, this is all just a plot to embarrass you even further and not even let you kiss it. But that would be cruel...and I’m not cruel, am I? :)