I just have to come out with it. I found something in your room that I’ve really been wanting to talk to you about. No, I won’t tell your step-mom or my step-dad, but it’s something we really have to discuss. I was quite surprised, almost alarmed, to find this in YOUR room. This is not something you should have whatsoever. I have seen you walk around this house. YOU do NOT have the dick to fit a magnum condom! Not in length, not in girth, not at all! I don’t even think they have condoms small enough to fit you! You need to hear the truth. This condom is completely useless for you. I’m going...

I just have to come out with it. I found something in your room that I’ve really been wanting to talk to you about. No, I won’t tell your step-mom or my step-dad, but it’s something we really have to discuss. I was quite surprised, almost alarmed, to find this in YOUR room. This is not something you should have whatsoever. I have seen you walk around this house. YOU do NOT have the dick to fit a magnum condom! Not in length, not in girth, not at all! I don’t even think they have condoms small enough to fit you! You need to hear the truth. This condom is completely useless for you. I’m going to do you, and the rest of the world, a favor. I’m going to measure your tiny, little dick so you know exactly what size condoms you should be shopping for, even though I doubt you’ll EVER need them! Don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me. You can trust me, right?