My love language is a bit deranged. I love you SO much, and I know we haven’t been dating for a while, but I fell in love with you so quickly. I need to confess to you my deepest darkest secret... I’ve eaten every person I’ve ever dated. I just want to be together forever and this is the ONLY way, guaranteed. I’m going to swallow you whole. I want to feel your limbs stretching open on your way down to my stomach. Trust me, this is for the best. I want to feel you inside of me forever. Isn’t that the most romantic, intimate thing ever? To me, yes. You have no choice but to agree.