Look at yourself, loser. Another year, another Valentine's Day alone, with no one but your five fingers to love you up. It's your annual routine -- look scornfully at all the beautiful couples, throuples and beyond, indulging in one another's romances before going home, locking the door and submitting yourself to the age-old monogamy between you and your hand.

Why do you keep trying? Each year and each attempt, you simply get more bitter before you let your stroking melt that icy heart, pumping furiously to porn and digital pussy. I think it's time for a change of pace, a new outlo... Show more