Hand- humping beta boy, you really need to give up these ridiculous fantasies of ever being with a woman. You and I both know the only pussy you deserve is your hand. And you do it so well. Show me how you fuck your hand pussy for me, boy toy.

As an ambassador for women everywhere, it’s time I demand that you pledge to remain pussy free for the new year. It’s time you gave up your silly ideas and accept your role as stroke addict, jerkoff slut. You can’t please a woman. You are better off jerking.