I heard you weren’t feeling well, puppet. So naturally, I’ve come over dressed in my sexy nurse coat to evaluate your symptoms. Tell me, do you feel a throbbing? Do you have a fever? Do you feel hot, sweaty? Is your heart racing, your breath quickening?

And your stamina; if I told you to pump for me right now, how long would you last?

Hmmmmm; this is all very interesting, but I’m going to diagnosis you as not actually sick. It’s not that you’re unwell, you’re just a pathetic hand-humper.